Twatter- Poem

Even if I don’t have success
my twitter bio will.
My marble instagram and brallette,
channel no 5 and Mac Russian Red,
internship, daddy’s money
depression and anxiety
cuddling me in a microfiber blanket.

I’m not relavent, not POC or gay,
just another slav slave
(if you trust Nazi etymology)
my typos make it look as if I can’t spell.

I grew up with a single father,
but that’s doesn’t count for victim points,
because I’m white and straight,
maybe as a woman I could get a job
in engineerig, but I happened to fail physics
my teacher was a woman.

I’ll delete the app of my phone,
sunlight is easier on my eyes,
my melatonin doesn’t get fucked up
I can go to sleep at 11,
it’s better for my OCD
not to see half naked bodies
and people boasting
about how good masturbation is.

I wanted a conversation

.daria

How to ‘enjoy the little things’ like everyone tells you to.

It’s that piece of advice everyone gives, but no one actually understands. Yes, it’s looking after yourself and being more care free and confident, but how? No one ever gives examples better than “take a bubble bath” or “treat yourself” or some other superficial thing capitalism tries to sell us.

Yes, having a bubble bath is good advice, but only if it makes you feel special. If you never have time for it, or worse, you put it off because you feel its’s unnecessery.

Enjoying the little things is holistic. It increases self confidence, and makes you feel fully like yourself. If you want to enjoy it’s benefits, you can start small, or go big from the beginning. Make yourself feel like a king or queen. It’s up to you how you do it. All it takes is feeling that little spark of excitment that’s inside of you. Turn your overly logical part of the brain for a few seconds. Here are only a couple of idead on how to get started.

Scent is a very powerful sense. It can really set the atmosphere of a room or yourself. Go to a shop and buy yourself a candle, there’s some deacent priced gems in t.k maxx and homesense. Even Primark has some nice smelling things nowdays. Even just standing a candle in your room will clear the atmosphere a bit. Don’t be afraid to light it up and use it, just because it’s pretty.

What scents do you like? What one’s make you feel grounded, romantic or chill? Try and find some body butter and scrub that smells like it. You don’t have to spend a lot just have a trip to boots or superdrug and make it a day to find the best smelling body mist. Try keeping a scent pach or a nice smelling soap bar in your chest of drawers.

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Do you practice self care by feeling comfortable in your own clothes? I personally think lingerine makes the outfit. Yu will feel a lot better if the clothes closest to your body feel comfortable and light. Most importantly it’s good to trust them. Give yourself a day sometime to get a bra fitting. you can have one done at Ann Summers or Marks and Specer’s or any small lingerine boutique. A good bra will not hurt you, but can be the type that makes you feel most confident. No need to keep getting medium sized brallettes that provide little coverage and support (unless that’s what you’re into, then you go girl!)

Also, stop calling it underwear. Call it lingerine. Make it your special thing. Don’t buy it with your boyfriend or anyone you might feel judged for time or style with. Take your time, have some money spare and get one good quality bra and a pack of briefs that fit or break the colour rules. Realise how more “you” you feel when the fabric you were makes the most out of yur body and skin. But more on that in a blog post soon! Remember, lingerine is not about sex, like all the sale try to tell you it is. It’s about what you like and what you feel comfortable in. Wear it for yourself, and enjoy it.

Make time for spirituality. It doesn’t hvae to be a belief, it can be prayer, or meditation, or just listening to music. Try putting on something calm, or a song you like and pick out all the indvidual instruments. what are their beats and notes like? How does that make you feel?

If you’ve never been spiritual but are thinking about it, give an introduction to philosophy book a try, like Sophie’s World by Jostein Gardner or The Philosophy Book, which I don’t know the author of, but I know you can find it at The Works stores. Go on youtube and listen to people’s guided meditations, find some bloggers who talk about what they believe and how they pray. It’s up to you what you believe or whether you believe at all. I will soon be speaking about my spiritual journey on this blog. Whtever you do, it’s important to keep healthy in that respect, because it will help you out in the long run.

What do you think of these ideas? Do you pracice any yourself, what other things can you suggest? Would you like to see another post with more ideas like this? Let me know!

-Alicja

 

 

11 days in Poland-Capsule Wardrobe for all occasions.

I am so excited ot go back to my home town and share it with everybody. It’s a great region with lakes to swim in, forests and castles to explore.

It usually takes me about 2 hours to pack. I try and think of all the possible weather conditions and place I can go.

I take 4 pairs of shoes. I usually wear flats on the plane, because I have now learnt the average amount of things I can take to make 22kg, so it’s more comfortable to take less on the plane with you. I encourage you to take the ones that take most space, if you don’t pack for planes often.

I found a lovley black dress, with a V shaped back for £3 at a H&M sale, which is why this year I’m taking both a dress and a tunic, despite having a skirt. All my bottoms are high waisted and light in colour, so I’m taking mostly light tops. The colour scheme is centered around: white/blue/grey and for colder days and nights : olive/burgundy/black. I’m taking acid washed high waist shorts, a high waist blue and white A-line skirt, and long high waist jeans.

For colder days, i am taking a cropped sweatshirt with a UFO on it which I adore, a jeans coat, a loose long cardigan and a light blue rain coat, which I didn’t capture in the picture.

I take enough underwear and socks to last me the 11 days, a comfy bra, a light and black brallette and a black bra for the darker clothing. I drop in a bunch of footlets and one pair of over knee socks, thick and thin fishnets.

Beauty and essentials aside, I also take my swim suit and a beach towel, which is the most fun and most expensive part of my suitcase.

I try to keep low on the accesories, keeping them all locked in my Pandora box, apart from my sunglasses, and putting a hat on my head.

One book, a notebook, a pen and technology go into my hand luggage which is a military back pack.

That’s how I get a good amount of possible outfits, into a small amount of stuf. What are some of your tips, and must fashinon takes?

Meaningful Books that Entertain

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There are a few books that impacted my life, which I encourage you to read. I’m not a typical writer or book blogger. I write poetry because I like it when meaning is concise. When I was a kid, I hated reading because everyone forced me into it. I still don’t like most mainstream books, not for the desire to “be differrent” but from my internet-induced lack of patience. For me to read something, it has to bring something into my life, it’s also the reason why I’ve been reading a lot of non-fiction latley.

I want to share with you the fiction books that made me. Mostly classics, because they’re classics for a reason. They convey a deeper message that you can relate to.

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1) A Manual of The Warrior of Light by Paulo Coelho

Now I know that this author has been loved and hated by many. Some say he’s predictible, others that he spews gibberish and people assign meaning to it. I find that a lot of his work is over-rated apart from this small collection. The book is full of snippets he used to write for a newspaper in Brazil between 1993-96.  These snippets are simple paragraphs describing the actions of a “Warrior of Light” who we can assume is each one of us, trying to lead a good life. As with a lot of his writing, Paulo Coleho encourages time for reflection through a personal spirituality and a very Catholic approach to love and suffering. I often look into this book when I feel like I need motivation in life to be a good person. To remind myself that there are good people in this world who wake up everyday to not only survive but fight their personal demons too.

2) A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burges

I have never read a book as fast as this one. I was done in two days,  having been glued to it’s pages on the bus, in maths lessons (hmm, wonder why my maths didn’t go anywhere) and in study periods.  Don’t let the language put you off, it’s very clever and has some easter eggs. Speaking a Savic language, I realise it may be difficult to understand what “noz” is or the ambiguity of “horroshow” but bear with it. The voilence and rape is there for a reason, to spark questions on free will, religion, friendship and socialism. There is plenty to be considered when reading this book, it’s worthreconsidering your opinions on some of these and especially their roles in society. Do we have the right  to institualise anyone? Read and let me know your thoughts!

3) Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

It’s good to think of the future. It’s good to keep in mind that we may just being dummbed down with “feelies,” drugs and “having” people. That there is a bigger and bigger divide between us, and any questioning of it is recieved as a sign that there is something wrong with you. Brave New World is probably a very accurate widow into the future of society, even more so than 1984.  I don’t want to spoil the book for you, but if you read anything on this list I encourage you to read this book. It helped me understand that small steps create a path to an unimaginably wrong future. Ask your self, is this Brave New World not a great idea? Technically, with all the Postmodernist Intersectional ideas floating about so puplarily these days, is anything actually wrong with Huxley’s dystopia?

4) The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

This is not a kids book. I had it read to me as a child in nusrey and then read it at school and didn’t understand much of it. I must have read it about 15 times in my life, which is a lot, as I barley ever re-read books at all. If you’ve ever felt alone in this world and wanted a friend, this book is for you.  It discusses friendship and does a good job at ridiculing the way our silly adult world works. The message reall resonates with me, as I always felt out of place as a child (more on that in an upcoming post on being enneagram type 4).

5- A Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde

Apart from it being a great read and a spooky gothic novel, this is a commentary on Victorian society and how it criticised publically what it did privatley and accused art of beign immoral. I feel like this applies to our world today, where people are lovley on social media and show off their perfect lives, to then go against their internet persona in person. More than this; however, I encourage you to look for how maipluation is presented in this book. It may help you, just like me, detect who your beliefs came from and whether you should question them.

6) 1984- George Orwell

Outside of the cliches that we alreadt live in this world, I’d like to point out that this book brilliantly outlines some of the techniques used by authoritative regimes. It explains brilliantly that power exists for the sake of power, questioning our personal motives and inviting us to consider what we would od in postiions of power, or how it would feel if the goverment knew your everymove. Now apply that to smartphones. This book was one of the reasons why I started being more aware of the imprint I leave online. It also helps me spot how conveniently things like twitter hashtags are like 3 minutes of hate, engineered to provoke the right response in the population.

 

What are some of the books that changed you, which you found both entertaining and informative? What are your thoughts on the ones I spoke about? Leave a comment below, let’s have a discussion.

Talking Point- It’s not how good you are, it’s how good you want to be.

You may have seen this book lying around in Urban Outiftters, topshop or in the self-help, careermove sort of areas of Waterstone’s. But is it actually as helpful as it says it is?

I was drawn to it mainly because I was looking for an internship, and have always considered myself quirky. A quick flick proved that the book was as quirky as I considered myself – differrent from your usual CV and experience finding advice. The straight tone of voice grabbed my attention and I liked it. This little book reflected my shallow needs – I wanted quick fixes, internet meme like doses of quotes that I could use to change and vamp up my career goals. It was also relativley cheap, so I took it off the shelf and used that reciept as a book mark.

There must have been a thausand young sixth former and university souls trapped the same way I had been. I suppose Paul Arden takes his own advice and his assertivness in his mirackle book proved to work. The witty text and fashionably current set out of pages draws you in. It’s a good read. I remember sitting down with some steaming Ovaltine thinking that the advice I had read was the only way forward. It was perfectly logical – belive in yourself enough and other’s will believe you’re the right person for the job. 

The book was an enjoyable read. I kept agreeing that things like true ingenuitey don’t win awards, because ‘awards celebrate mediocracy.’ I remember laughing at the words and sending bad picture of pages to my boyfriend and friends with the caption ‘I always said this!’ Feeling overall like I had found my career oponion soul mate. 

Then, I tried putting the book into work and realised there was no actual advice in it. The most I could fish out of it was “belive in yourself and show it.” Most of it was just The Secret type of gibberish. It’s all about having goals to reach then, not intellect or beauty or talent. Well I say, you need those things to fulfill those goals, at least in part. Just focusing on something hard enough won’t get you there, in fact it can do the opposite by making you indulge in a career fantasy in your head which you then decide not to act on because it makes you happy enough go speculate on it.

The blurb for this book is pretencious through saying it’s like the Prince, being a book on self-development by actually writing about marketing and selling products. I found it difficult to get around, as I’ve never been in a white collar job and have no idea how the two relate. My bad. 

Final opinion? Paul Arden knows how to write a book that sells, but it’ll probably be a bit more difficult to get something from it that’s differrent than the old ‘set goals’ lectures we’ve heard at school and career events throughout life. If you want an enjoyable read and interesting read- go for it. Avoid it if you want genuine career advice. This is why I hate these types of self-help books. It’s true that you can put something into a few words of your really understand it, but there are certain things that only work for a specific audience of the book and in this case it isn’t a 21 year old student. You’re better off getting experience in life and in jobs, so let’s get moving on.

Get to Know Me- Music Questions

Everyone loves to leave the world for some time with music. I wanted to answer some music questions so you can get more of an idea ofwhat I’m into, and I can interract with you through the comments, so go ahead and share your answers the questions below in the comments- I’ll be glad to know what sort of stuff you like. Maybe we could start an interesting conversation.

1. Which bands/artist do you own the most albums by?

-Pearl Jam

2. What was the last song you listened to?

-The Coming of Ettins by Burzum

3. What’s in your CD player right now?

-Ulice jak Stygmaty by Pidzama Porno. It’s punk, but it has some more melody than your usual punk, but they do keep to stiniging lyrics as most punk does. Good to drink beer to in the summer.

4. What was the last concert you attended?

-It was a student festival in my home town of Olsztyn, called Kortowiada.

5. What was the greatest show you’ve ever been to?

– It must have been Pearl Jam as well. I saw them in 2014 at Open’er festival. Had to survive a lot to be in the third line, just to get pushed back after the first song. I cried a lot after too.

6. What’s the worst show you’ve ever been to?

-There are a few contestants, but it must have been Artur Rojek. Not just the worst show but also the most dissapointing because the guy has a brilliant voice, and his work in Myslovitz was genius. (If you’re interested, Myslovitz is a Polish band that realeased albums in English as well, and has a large following in Brazil, for some reason.)

7. What’s the most musically involved you have ever been?

-My recent concert, being part of the choir for my university and performing the Betthoven’s glorious 9th with the orchestra.
8. What show are you looking forward to?

-I haven’t got any tickets bought, but I am looking out to see Lana del Rey in the UK with my friend.

10. What is your favorite band shirt?

-Pidzama Porno has some realy funky t-shirts. This one is my favourite

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11. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?

-I can think of a few, but I think it’d break the artistic charm if i knew them as regular flawed people. I’d rather not know any.

12. One musician or group you wish would re-unite?

-I’m doing two. It must be Alice in Chains. I also miss the old set up of Panic! at the disco. I have never been a super massive fan of them, but I did like their old stuff better.

13. One band/artist you’ve never seen live but always wanted to?

-Aphex Twin. Could’ve gone to field day to see him, but I wouldn’t stand it at a festival. I prefer single concerts for artists I really like.

14. Name four or more flawless albums.

Vs-Pearl Jam, Born to Die- Lana del Rey, Mastodon-Leviathan, Aphex twin- I care because you do.

15. How many music related videos/DVDs do you own?

-None. I either stream or invest in flac quality audio. I own a lot of vinyls though.

16. How many concerts/shows have you been to, total?

-All together probably somewhere around 25.

17. Who have you seen the most live?

-I have actually neever seen an artist or band twice.

18. What is your favorite movie soundtrack?

I love the soundtrack for Eyes Wide Shut, but also the one for Pi because it’s electronic music (check that movie out, it’s great if you like cult films). I’ll stick a show in here as well and say the music in x-files is amazing.

19. What was your last musical “phase” before you wisened up?

-I tried to be an emo/scene kid at like 13 so I had a lot of scremo music. I only really ever liked Bring me the Horizon. I always prefered metal.

20. What’s your “guilty pleasure” that you hate to admit to liking?

“Slavic rasta hip hop” and any Polish hip-hop, and yeah it’s weird to think that that’s even a thing, haha.

How about you dear reader, what do you listen to?

 

 

Summer Goals and Plans

I didn’t want this summer to be as slow as my last one. As much as I enjoy lazing about, I didn’t want all the anxiety and uncertainty that comes from being in one town for too long without money.

Having a structured day, where I have to fit my hobbies around a part time job has helped me stay focused. Ironically, it gave me more time through the boost of physical work. It makes my mind crave thoughtful discussions and goals.I am not only going to have a job, but also do some work towards writing and personal goals.

BLOG:

First of all, I managed to get back to regularily posting on this blog. It was kind of by accident. I saw a lot of people post their blogs and thought, if they can then why can’t I? My goal for this blog is to post in as many days of the week as I can, but primarily, keep to my new idea of a “Talking Point” post, where I loosley review books, music, films or what not in order to find a point to chat about in their context, whilst still giving a good idea of whether they’re worth you’re time.

Writing and Competitions:

My career goals will be to focus more on writing poetry. I want to attmept to write at least a raft poem a day. After all, practice makes perfect. There are 3 competitions I have recently found which I want to take part in. One of these is organised by the Nine Arches Press, which is local to the midlands, it aims to help young poets, if you’re interested you can find it here. I am going to have to prepare 6 of my best poems to send off. I hvae until the 8th of September to write something jaw dropping. This might jsut be enough time.

Competitions aside, I also plan and have already started to send poetry off to literary magazines in hopes of having it published.

Hobbies:

I want to join a gym to start weight lifting. I have a very skinny body type which a lot of people may be envious of, but the truth is that I cannot put on weight and would love to look less “stick like” and have enough power in my hands to punch someone in case they attack me ( I live in Northampton over summer, it’s dodgy around here.)

This aside, I also wanted to start knitting or crotcheting, and continue my journey with watercolours.

That’s all folks! What are your goals for the summer?

-Alicja20160907_183108